A very long time

Wow so it has been quite a while since I last blogged, but now I am back. Well I am back in Ks now and have been for over a month now. I am doing online classes and that is going good but I have to continue trying to be self motivated. I now am working with Jess, my client, monday thru friday and if there are things she might like on the weekends I will take her. Her mom has never left her over night with anyone up until now, because she has never trusted anyone, and I am being left over night actually for a whole weekend with her while they are out of state. I am very happy that her parents trust me and it is just wonderful. I am so incredibally tired, I feel like falling asleep but I still have a lot of school to do and it is already 11pm here. Well I will type more later, but for now must do school.

Time thing

my computer is odd and the time that it says I posted is actually 2 hours behind

Two Women who have changed my life

The summer I turned 15 I met 2 women who have changed my life. That summer I became the mothers helper to one lady who has been a friends and support to me since then, July of 09 will make 7 years. At the end of the summer I met her best friend and became a part of her life as well. These two women have been my support through thick and thin, and have never given up on me. When I was down they talked me through things, when I was happy they were excited for me. They have been there for me through everything and fr that I am eternally grateful. When I look at both of these women, I want to be more like them, they are my hero's. This next part is to them.

Dear Amy and Bernae,

Over the past 6 1/2 years I have gotten to know you and your children, and I thank God every day for it. I know that I don't even have to say anything and you already know something is going on. You have accepted me through all of m faults and mistakes. I am not always the brightest of people but you accept and love me just the same. Every day that I am away I miss you and the kids more. There are times that I could get in my car and drive to either of your houses and visit. Every moment I spend with you guys and the kids is a treasure and aways has been. I am so glad that I met bth of you and your children, I don't know how I culd have made it this far without you. I love you both.

The days of all sorts

Today was one of those days that so many things happened. My uncle Mike left this afternoon to go back to Catalina island, after being here since Christmas Eve. This morning we spent time with him and had fun taking pictures and just talking. After he left family friends came to visit and see me while I am in town. It was nice seeing them and catching up on stuff. In between my uncle leaving and company coming we,as in my mom and the girls had a discussion with my brother telling hi how we feel on some issues (want to know ho I feel read my previous blog). After the company left my mom and ran to CVS and walmart to get some stuff. For the rest of the day we have just been at home relaxing and sch. So overall the day was emotional at times as well as boring at times.

Having Trouble understanding a sibling

My brother and I are 18 months apart and when we were kids we were best friends, but as adult we are both very different. My brother made a comment to me before I moved to kansas 6 months ago, saying "why cant we have a normal brother sister-brother relationship and be able to talk about things?" So when I left I made it a goal to work on that. Well I have given 100% for the most part, and he is giving like 10% at most. When I call he doesnt answer, when I text he doesnt respond, and never does he make an effort. I feel like I just want to stop trying, because I cant be the only one making an effort and him not working towards it at all. I have been in PA since the 18th and he has been at his girlfriends 90% of the time. I have been at home and available to talk, hang out, or whatever, and he never comes home or is there. Maybe it is just me but it is hard to have a relationship with a person who doesnt even what to be around you or your family. Well I am tired, and so I will try and get to bed and get a good nights sleep. I will post pictures and stuff about my uncles visit tomorrow.

Cookies, cleaning, and prep for Company

Well the last two days have, been cooking cookies (as well as other desserts, to hand out), cleaning the house and getting ready for uncle Mike to come on Christmas Eve Morning. We have not seen him since my grandma died 10 years ago. It is also wierd being back at home and stuff even if it is for a short period of time. the girls are still fighting, my mom and dad both are always on the edge, never knowing when to take a joke. I love my family and all, but being away and then coming back it seems so different. I cant sleep, but I really want ot sleep, so Ineed ot get off this computer and go to sleep.

First few days back in PA

Well I have been in PA the last four days, and well it's good but different. I have seen my best friend and I have got to hang with the family so far. There are many people that I want to see over the next two and a half weeks. Coming back to PA after you have moved half way across the US gives you a different perspective on htings I think. when I was living at home I didn't realize the things that I miss as well as just everything that is different. Living in KS and away from my parents made me grow up. I have to make my own decisions and when I make a choice there is nobody there to prevent me from making a bad choice. If I make the decision I will have to live with the consequences. Each day of my life I live with depression and I am learning how to deal with it as an adult who isn't always sheltered from reality. This is a short entry but I dont really have much to say, that is what is going on in my life now.